My father lives with me. I’m 4 months away from turning 34. He showed up at my door in 2000, and said he and my mother had split up, and could he sleep on my couch that night.

He’s mostly never left since, several places, situations and 10 years later. He pretends to be helpless, says he has no where to go. Says no one will hire him, he’s in pain; anything to convince himself (and me) that I should feel sorry for him.

This is the same relationship we have always had. Him the child, me the parent. It’s only been the last year I have begun to realize this, and now I am trying to decide on which day I will say: “you have to leave, for my sanity.”

When he is around, my own life stops. When he is not, I make a life for myself. And I have yet to really understand any of it.



2 responses to “Untitled

  1. I know you have not asked for advice, but if I were in your place, I would tell him immediately to leave. He needs to be in counselling. You have a right to your own life. Don’t let him try to make you feel guilty. If you can afford it, get joint counselling so he understands your point of view with a mediator present.

  2. Desperately Seeking THE LIGHT

    I am 27 and I am in the same situation, thank you for posting this. Today I finally told myself that the only absolute way to get this drama out and guilt out of my life is to take a stand. I am now at the point of trying to determine, do I write him off and ban him from me and trying to take over my life or do I just set very strict boundries to prevent my life from being taken right before my very eyes. I have had a very rough life and I had to raise my family at the age of 8 years old, my childhood was completely robbed from me in order for me to save my life. I’ve had enough torture, drama and I’ve made a nice life for myself and husband despite what I have been through in a past life. I know that in order to live my life to its fullest potential, that it is absolutely necessary from me to stop trying to hide from this situation and deal with it head on.

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