Or am I


Emily Marucci

I am not who you think I am. Or am I?

A constant struggle with self.

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one with a shipwrecked heart amongst a sea of people that don’t allow themselves to feel deeply enough.

I am fucking sensitive. But I’d rather feel and be misunderstood than be a shadow or glimpse of my true being.

When I feel like an unsubstantial street pin in the big city of lost souls, I remind myself who I am by thinking of things I believe in.

I believe bob dylan couldn’t sing, and that it’s possible I can’t write.

I believe things always change for the better.

I believe life is not to live in longing.

I believe in walking through the streets and pretending they are empty.

I believe in wondering “if it was really in my head.”

I believe in wisdom in old people.

I believe in losing myself for a few minutes a day.

I believe in watching my tears disappear in my hands within moments.

I believe in being fearless for the fall of love.

I believe in never painting my darkness golden.

I believe in never erasing my wrong words–i would be left silent.

I believe in fear.

I believe in collecting scars.

I believe that technology can sometimes create clouds around our beings that multiply into memories that we can no longer see.

I believe. Complex conquers simplicity.

Constantly wondering .. If you really knew me.

Am I dysfunctional? I sure hope I am.

-By Emily Marucci.

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11 responses to “Or am I

  1. Even though this is my daughter I can’t believe how talented and beautiful she is. I am so proud of her and I know in my heart that she is going to be a great success in her life.

    Dad

  2. Great stuff Emily…I love the way you write.

  3. It amazes me to see how much heart and soul you have, (people seem plain and without direction these days) and how you find ways to transend your passioniate thoughts into organized words for others to read. You clearly are not afraid to express what you feel, a very special characteristic to posses. Keep it up and stay true doll, your going places.

  4. Debra Fischetta Paradiso

    Your articles are so inspiring. Your articles paint a story of how passionate you are about your intentions. Your writings imply how you can live your life in simple sentences of what is now. They also focus on what you desire and clarifies what you need to do to make it happen. You are so open and receptive to the pure and simple blessings. There is not one bit of second guessing and you do not hold your thoughts hostage they propel you into what will be. GREAT STUFF…I LOVED YOUR ARTICLE ABOUT THE “SUBWAY”. Friend of Luciano Puliti

  5. Hi, Jessica popped over and left this address on my blog for me … and presumably others that frequent my blog to come by and read this one.

    Love it!.

    here’s mine. Stop by and say hello!.

    http://mokoreturns.blogspot.com/

  6. As I am an illustrator I am amazed how your words are so visual and poignantly paint the picture of the pure lessons of life and how it is important to be honest and true to our beliefs.
    Emily, you are very talented and I look forward to hopefully meeting you in the very, near future once again.

    Janet (Friend of mom)

  7. Always amazed by your wisdom and your willingness to bear your soul. Your words are as beautiful and complex as you…

  8. My beautiful Em…your words are so gorgeous so real so raw…they always challenge me in to look in places, see things, that could so easily be overlooked and short-changed of their magnificent validity …love you so…
    dysfunctionally yours, Jo xoxo
    PS…i wanna believe things always change for the better…workin on it…

  9. Thanks for your honesty in this post – and thank you for stopping by my blog today. Your comment made me smile. God bless. xo

  10. Your beautiful and deep writing has moved me…thank you Emily. Having spent the high school and college years with Stephanie, I can say I recognize the creativity, depth and beautiful searching soul. You are so much more self-aware and present than I was (or am!)
    Josette

  11. wonderful

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